The other day, I read that the moment of feedback deserves a pause for reflection. It sounds obvious, but I've found myself justifying a behavior or trying to explain why a decision was made during a feedback meeting. The text said that 24 hours is enough to absorb what has been said and, if necessary, talk to the manager again and put forward your point of view. Over the course of my 20-year career, I've had many feedback sessions, some formal, as part of the annual 360º process, others one-off, when the manager felt the need to point out an improvement/praise in posture or performance, but there are few that have marked my career and made me rethink routes. I decided to revisit this feedback and advice today.
It's very difficult to understand what you like to do when you're happy in everything you do.
I was really happy, it was my first experience in marketing and I really admired my manager (something essential to keep me motivated), so I just tackled all the demands and projects with the same care. Besides, it felt right to do everything that was asked of me, I was eager to learn. But yes, we all have our preferences, a more strategic or analytical profile, tasks that involve working in a team or in solitary mode, a preference for holding meetings in the early hours or in the late afternoon, these are important points that everyone needs to be aware of.
After sounding strange, I understood the power of this feedback: it's my job to know my strengths and make them clear to my manager, pointing out how and with what I like to work, after all, that's the only way the company will get the best out of me.
You have no sense of urgency.
This feedback haunted me for a long time! How could that be? I never have unread emails in my inbox, I know the status of all the projects, I constantly check the progress of the most relevant deliveries... how can I be seen as having 'no sense of urgency'?
The good thing about feedback is that it is usually accompanied by situations in which we display such behavior. In this case, the examples made me understand that the criticism was about how I had dealt with the problems, the apparent calm in managing the suppliers, the review of deadlines with the team and the search for the best way forward together reflected this aforementioned lack of urgency. It was the look of someone who didn't agree with another way of being and acting, even if the end result was satisfactory. For a while, I made every effort to change my attitude, to be more aggressive on a daily basis, and it worked, but it wasn't fair to force me to be something I didn't believe in and eventually, I looked for a culture where my way of being was more in line with the company's values.
You involved me less than I would have liked in some processes.
A new manager, new rules. When the new manager arrived, I presented the team's way of working and moved on. It was easy to work with the autonomy gained after years in the company and the format had worked previously: there was the weekly team meeting, sharing the main topics with the management team and inviting the manager to take part in decision-making meetings. But with the feedback, I realized that 'new rules' had to be defined in order to establish a relationship of trust. For some managers, a simple email copy is enough to make them feel involved and part of the process, others like to sit in on meetings and, of course, there are those who feel more comfortable controlling the day-to-day.
If the rules are comfortable for both of you, the relationship flows and autonomy happens.
Having a manager who trusts your work and recognizes your value is worth more than 10 MBAs.
Choosing between two offers is not an easy task. On the one hand, I had what I considered to be the ideal job, a dynamic category, an attractive brand, a young and innovative team, a good investment in marketing. On the other, I had the chance to work with a manager who really believed in my potential and was willing to invest in my growth.
I went to talk to my mentor, a professional with years of experience in the company, and with this phrase, he made me think about the important relationship we develop with our direct manager. This new manager would challenge me on a daily basis, entrust me with strategic projects, be willing to listen and understand my opinion for the future of the area. This person would influence the way I manage and would be really important for my development.
The council brought up a new point for decision-making.
Unlike therapy, where it's possible to learn about our behavior patterns and have the opportunity to question our own worldview in order to become a better version of ourselves, it's important to remember that feedback and advice come loaded with an external view, with other people's behavior patterns, it's not your reality, but if it makes you question and understand other points of view, at least it's worth a pause during the moment of feedback, isn't it?
